“Then he asked them, ‘Why are you still afraid? Do you still have no faith?” -Mark 4:40
The past two weeks have felt like a little storm in my life. I’ve felt a few waves hit my otherwise steady boat. I’ve felt unconfident, insecure and afraid. All because of a group of high schoolers. I signed on as an assistant varsity track and field coach at the high school in the district where I work as a speech pathologist. I loved track in high school so why wouldn’t I help out with coaching when asked? That is what I told myself back in November when I said yes.
Flash forward a few months to this week, the second week of the track season. After the first practice last week, I wondered, “What did I get myself into?” Coaching a 3 hour practice after a workday when I usually have had that time to spare, is a big adjustment. But I’m adjusting. I realized that going into this, I thought it would be easy and fun all the time. Then practice came and the kids asked me questions and I didn’t exactly know how to explain things and I felt afraid. Doesn’t help that I don’t look any older than the majority of these high school students.
But this week, I am trying to really jump in at practices and am thinking back to what I once enjoyed about the sport. I’ve been assigned to help with the triple jump and after practices, I usually go home and try the drills myself. I’ve been watching track videos like crazy and I’ve been asking my brother and his wife for advice because they’ve been coaches for years. At this point all I can say, is that I am learning a little more each day. I am pushing myself to develop strong plans and pointers so that I can help a kid or two. We will see how the rest of the season goes. I have faith that I will survive this season!
On another note…
A previous blog of mine explained the major car problems I had a few weekends back. This weekend when Nick was visiting, he mentioned that one of the lights on my rear driver’s side taillight was burnt out. Great. I began wondering when I would fit a trip to the mechanic into my weekly schedule. Until Nick mentioned that he could probably fix it. We drove around Sunday after church and found an auto parts store. Nick shimmied the protective covering on the light off and had me turn on my turn signals, step on the brakes, etc..until he found the lightbulb that was burnt. A few minutes later, he replaced it! Voila! I was happy.
Flash forward to today. It’s 11 am and I am driving home from a preschool where I see one of my speech kiddos. A cop pulls out behind me and follows me for about 2 blocks before putting his lights on and pulling me over. Great. (I’ve been pulled over previously for a burnt headlight in this town. Cops here are on it!) He tells me that my rear driver’s side brake light is burnt out. I proceed to tell him about Nick replacing another light on that side over the weekend to which he responds “That’s an unlikely story.” He then asks for my license, which I didn’t have with me. He let me go with a warning. Tonight after track practice, I decided that I needed to fix this thing on my own.
I drove to the same auto repair shop that Nick and I visited over the weekend. I took apart the rear light, found the burnt bulb and marched into that shop to find a replacement. I met a nice older man who worked there and started to chat with me. I told him I would be in the parking lot to replace my bulb. (He seemed surprised here and asked if anyone was out there to help me. “Just me,” I responded.) Long story short–I replaced the bulb by myself! The nice man came out and watched my lights as I stepped on the brakes to assure it was working. I would have never been able to do this if it wasn’t for Nick’s guidance over the weekend. I would have called the mechanic and made an appointment. As little and minuscule as this sounds–It felt so good to fix this problem on my own!
Not the most exciting stories, but these are a peek into my week. Slowly adjusting to independence and problem solving on my own. Trying new things like coaching and giving it my my best. Pushing on and keeping the faith.